I want to dive right in and tell you why I created this blog. I recently read an article on buzzfeed about how parents in the desi community force or use emotional tactics to get thier children married, causing negative psychological effects on thier kids. Anxiety, depression, panic attacks are all common amongst desi kids who try to please thier parents but ususally by going against thier hopes and dreams. For those of you who are wondering what the word desi means, it is basically a title for anyone belonging to a South Asian country.
I as a desi, have been brought up to be respectful and obedient to my elders. A few months ago, my parents tried to marry me to someone I felt was incompatible with. I was positive this person wasnt “the one”, and I decided to say no. I felt really guilty going agaisnt my parents wishes. My family pressured me but I fought back. I was lucky that I had the support of good friends, and close relatives that did take my side and give me the strength I needed to stay firm with my choice and not go through with it. It was through reading the buzzfeed article, that I realized thier are so many others in the same boat, but were not fortunate enough to say no. I know alot of readers might feel this story isnt a big deal. However, in our community breaking off a marriage, or getting divorce still has bad stigmas attached to it. People are usually thought of negatively so thats why even if someone is stuck in a unhappy marriage, they stick to it in order to keep thier reputations intact for the sake of thier families. I did not marry that person, but the fact that my family tried to talk me into it over and over again both surprised me and hurt me. In a heartbeat, my wishes and feelings didnt matter, and a stranger was prefered over me. A person they had known for only a short time became thier dream son in law. I created this blog to release my thoughts and feelings about the desi community and the real reality behind alot of desi marraiges. I wanted to open a dialogue on how some desi marraiges are built upon hurt and sadness that still affect the couple everyday. I wanted this space to express myself, and anyone who wanted to share thier story anonymously, or openly. Please feel free to comment below or email me at DesiReality27@gmail.com